Just want to throw my Hands up and say "You WIN"

Ever just feel like there is someone out there trying to bring you down.
Give you ever single hurdle you can think of and make you cross them with no
support or help and having a 4 month old at the same time ?

That's how I'm feeling lately. I know everything happens for a reason, and all that jazz. Just sometimes it feels like its all too much to handle at ounce. I'm hoping within the next couple of weeks I'll have a job (God willing). I know that will help alot. I've made a promise to myself to go to the Gym 3x's a Week for 90 mins each. So I'm hoping that will help with everything. I'm starting to lose weight slowly which is better than nothing.

I'm still doing photography, just not really advertising because it doesn't seem to be worth it out here. There are so many people who are doing it. When we go back to UT. I might book a session or two while I'm there.

Rick and I are hoping within the next couple of years we can make our way back to the West Coast. I'm having a hard time adjusting out here still and we've almost been here a year. Come September we will have been in NC for a year.

Its weird to think that Tyler has been here for 4 months. He's a Mellow tempered child, he has his moments. That's for sure but overall he's a great baby. He is so much like his father, Rick and I were throwing around the Idea of another child right around after Tyler's 1st Birthday . Well that is only talk as of now though.

We have applied for base housing. The way its looking we might barley make the list to get a house on base. I really hope we do cause having to rent is getting real old, real fast. Especially with 2 Large Dogs with no backyard. Needless to say they are stir crazy to say the least.

We are planning a trip to UT in September (YAY) so my parents and family can meet Tyler. Also for my sister's wedding. Rick might be able to see his best friend just before he deploys I know that'd mean alot to Rick so I'm hoping he gets to see him.

Part of me wants Rick to Deploy soon because this whole waiting game of ok when is it going to happen again. Is more stressful than the actually deployment part of it from what I remember from his last deployment anyway,

Still really only have one person I hang out with on a semi-normal basis and that's about it Christa Left, Sheila is gone and Jenn is gone too. Kind-of sucks but oh well that's military life. Just sometimes sitting at home with the baby all day long gets to the point that you just need to get out before you lose IT. Which I admit I've gotten there quite a few times with him. Not that I don't love him just sometimes it gets hard.

Rick's been working some crazy crazy hours and its taking a toll at times with us which is to be expected. I barley see him more than for maybe 2 hours a day the last 3 weeks have gone. It seems like he always gets screwed over and ends up staying later. I know its a job and the benefits make up for most the bad things that has happened. Sometimes a good whine just feels good though.

I hate that my school has taken a back burner lately. I just keep running into hurdles every time I get started again. I know I will finish it just might take a little longer than I normally expected :(.